what a difference a year makes! last year this time, i was still recovering emotionally from my miscarriage, wondering if i would ever be a mom. today, i am 38 weeks pregnant with my son, colton michael duncan. i feel so excited and blessed, but anxious and scared at the same time.
it has been so hard to convince myself that this is actually real. after what happened last time, i really have not allowed myself to believe that everything would work out. here we are just two weeks away from colton's arrival and it still seems too good to be true. i have to remind myself every day to have faith and trust that God is protecting colton and me.
several years ago, i was dealing with some issues and sought the help of a christian counselor. i was so focused on one small part of my life that i was missing out on everything else. the counselor asked me to think about what i was missing by being so obsessed with this one thing that i had very little control over. it hit me that i am doing that again. i have been so busy worrying that something would go wrong with my pregnancy that i have not taken time to enjoy it. with every little pain or funny feeling, i expect the very worst.
my counselor told me to think about my life as if it was a house. when i am so focused on something, i am inside the house in one room and i don't leave. she said to get out of the house and look in the windows. there are so many other things going on that i am missing out on by being in the one room!
although it is a little late, i am doing my best to get out of my "house" and peek in the windows for these last two weeks....praying and trusting that everything will be ok.
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -philippians 4:6
