the last five and a half weeks have unquestionably been the most difficult and most wonderful of my life. my sweet baby boy, colton michael duncan was born on thursday, april 5 at 11:42 PM. after many hours of labor which began with induction at about 9:30 PM the night before, colton arrived!
so that's where i thought the pain and difficulty would end. think again! labor and delivery was a cinch in comparison to what was to follow.
quite honestly, i had been very judgmental in the past of people who chose not or could not breastfeed. i thought they were just being wimpy. i am not exaggerating when i say that feeding my baby has been the hardest thing i have ever had to do. breastfeeding started well in the hospital...colton latched on and ate his first meal just a few minutes after birth. once we got home it was another story!
we came home on saturday. on easter sunday, my milk came in. hello boulder boobs!! i had no idea how much pain i would be in just from milk coming in. colton ate nonstop for the first two weeks of his life and i thought i was going to lose my mind. between the constant nursing and not leaving the house, i was as close as i ever have been to depression. was i doing things right? why did he need to eat all the time? is this normal? the next hurdle came a few weeks later when every time colton tried to eat he would cough and choke and pull off the breast. we visited a lactation consultant and (although i had convinced myself colton had a tongue tie) the problem was due to the forceful letdown of my milk and possibly oversupply! i was worried he wasn't getting enough! then last week, having too much milk caused three plugged milk ducts and a breast infection called mastitis in my left breast. finally, that has cleared and i finally feel like colton and i are hitting our stride with breastfeeding. five and a half weeks later! that may not sound like a long time, but let me tell you it seems like forever!
now we're able to leave the house without any problem and even breast feed in public if necessary. i really feel like we have turned a corner and it will get easier from here.
throughout the whole process, i had an extremely supportive mother and a very responsive and patient lactation consultant helping me. i prayed what seemed like every five minutes and even though it didn't seem like it at the time, Jesus helped me through.
now that i am on the other side of this, i am so thankful i stuck with breastfeeding. i remember my mom telling me in the past that when you are dealing with something difficult, just "do the next thing". meaning, take things one step at a time. get through the immediate problem and then tackle the next thing that comes along. don't try to look too far down the road. just deal with what is in front of you now. before you know it, you'll be through it!
"in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord directs their steps." -proverbs 16:9
